We got some shocking news from home last week. My cousin S, just twenty one, passed away in a horrifying train accident in Mumbai. Apparently there was a derailment on the central line that day, and the trains were running late and were packed much more than usual, if that is at all possible. S was in a rush to get to college for his third year engineering exam. Unfortunately, he decided to board a jam-packed train rather than wait and risk running a few minutes late. Less than five minutes later, before the train could even reach the next station, he had struck an electric pole, fractured his skull and passed away.

Such accidents probably happen everyday in Mumbai but only when it happens to one of your own do you stop and think about it. Otherwise, where’s the time? There’s a train to catch, a destination to be reached, an entire day’s work to be done. Train’s crowded? Never mind, surely I can squeeze in? Can’t get past the door? No problem, I can get some fresh air hanging outside. Train’s announced on the next platform? Let me cross the tracks just this once. If I use the overbridge, I’ll miss it.

Most folks who’ve used Mumbai’s local trains would be guilty of some or all of the above at some point of time. In my four years of college traveling by train in Mumbai, I was no exception. Except that we are lucky and get away with it. Others, like S, are not. I can picture him right now, hanging on to the doorway, barely managing to place a foot inside the crowded compartment, enjoying the cool breeze on his face, his mind intent on revising the syllabus one last time. If he knew what was coming, surely he would have waited, never mind the exam. The exam could have been cleared next semester.

Aside from Mumbai, I have used suburban trains in Southeast Asia, Australia, Europe and North America. Every other city has this wonderful PA system announcing the doors are closing, please step off. And when some idiots still manage to wedge themselves into the doorway despite the warning, the doors stay open and the train does not move. Even Delhi has the metro now. But in Mumbai, as far as I am aware, we still use the same basic train system designed by the British in 1853.

If you are reading this and use the Mumbai local trains, I hope you’ll stop and rethink your choice the next time you are running late and feel tempted to take such a risk. Your life is precious. Everything else can be worked out.

———————————————————————————————————————

The first thing that came to my mind when I heard the news was a baby-faced S. My mother and I had brought him and his mommy home from the hospital the week after he was born. I also clutched my tummy in an instinctively protective gesture. Becoming a mother does that to you I guess. Every sad story becomes personalized in your mind. Let this never happen to my baby is the overriding thought. Selfish but true.

It seems my mother was hesitant to share the news with me given my pregnant status. She worried it would upset me too much. Fortunately, I chose to take it in a positive sense. Sure, I grieved for my cousin and his family. Especially the parents who have to cope with the loss. It is a terrible tragedy for them, one they will take months or perhaps even years to recover from. They have no choice but to grieve.

As for me, such shocking incidents only serve as a wake-up call to me. I must have surprised the husband with my extra loving demeanour that day, I chatted with my baby just a little bit more that night. When life is so precious and unpredictable, I want to make the most of it. Perhaps it sounds hard-hearted, but that’s genuinely the way I feel. What do you think?

I don’t remember when I had so much fun in office last. Christmas is almost upon us and this year our department went completely crazy decorating for the holiday decoration contest! We came up with this theme of creating an entire village all dressed up for the holidays.

And each person’s cubicle was some sort of shop or office. Courtesy the baby bump, I got to be the village pediatrician!

Our pediatrician is very kid-friendly as you can see. She has a children’s play corner, lots of colorful posters, a toy stethoscope and even lollipops for the kids!

So much for the Pediatrician. Littleton Falls also has a general store, a kids’ clothing store, a  candy store, a Christmas tree store, a toy store, a sheriff, a tax collector and even a mayor!

Like it? So this is how our corridor’s been looking for the past week… Makes you enter office with a smile even on a Monday morning!

Honestly, were it not for Christmas, I don’t think I would have survived winter in the Northeast!

Happy Holidays everyone!

Anybody read Madam De’s latest post? The furor in the comment space is largely over just one part of the post – the bit about admiring Anjali Tendulkar for giving up her career to be the perfect homemaker, wife and mother. But Ms. De also talks about other stuff – bringing up a hugely popular celebrity’s kids in as normal a manner as possible, staying out of the media glare etc. – that I too find admirable. I wonder why no one’s talking about that!

Anyhow, I don’t agree with the homemaker bit at all. To stay home with the kids, juggle family and work, remain a DINK couple, or even not marry at all – is each individual’s personal preference. What makes you happy could make me miserable! So it’s futile to argue over which is the best choice.

It’s hard to say what Ms. De was thinking when she wrote this post. Was it meant to be a cheeky piece pretending to admire while gently poking fun at the so-called ‘perfect wife’? Was it, as I heard someone suggest, a PR advert? Or was it a genuinely fawning fan-post, never mind the seemingly regressive statements like – “The Perfect Wife, who has understood her position in marriage (secondary)…”? Who knows! Or more importantly, who cares! But her post did get me thinking.

Now that I am myself a mommy-to-be, I find myself forming some strong opinions on child-rearing, a departure from my completely non-judgmental stance before. I still don’t judge those who choose not to have kids, but once you do, these are a couple of no-nos in my books nowadays:

Choosing not to breastfeed because we need to get back to work. I keep reading about the lifelong health benefits of breastfeeding for both mommy and baby and I wonder how could a few month’s pay/seniority/career growth/mental stimulation possibly weigh against all of that? Remember that bit about health being our greatest wealth? We spend nine months trying to eat right and natural for the baby and end up feeding it an artifical food later! Of course, some moms are just not able to breastfeed and that’s a completely different scenario. But wanting to get back to work in a hurry ‘because we need the money’ or ‘I’ll go crazy staying home all day’ – I don’t buy that. In most cases, finances can be adjusted for a few months I think.

In my case, I plan to breastfeed for as long as I can (although those tales of cracked and sore breasts give me nightmares) and everything else will just have to align itself around that!

My former non-judgmental self butts in: A possible solution might be to express breast milk for when you are in office. But a lot of my friends tell me that this does not work for too long and you end up feeding the baby formula anyway. If someone has a different experience, I’d love to hear from you!

Asking grandma and grandpa to stay over and look after baby. Now this is a common occurrence with desi couples in the US and no one seems to find it amiss.  I can understand if you’ve stayed in a joint family all along. In that case, you take the good with the bad. But this is different. Parents and in-laws come over for the delivery and stay back for months on end.  I always wonder how comfortable the grandparents feel with this arrangement? Sure, everyone knows grandparents dote on grandkids, but don’t they have a life of their own back home too? Don’t they get lonely alone all day at home in a strange land? And don’t they sometimes wish they had been invited over before baby came along, just to visit or have a nice time? Finally, how do the new parents manage to bond with the baby if grandma’s always around to take care of everything? Not to mention the practical difficulties – how do you enforce your parenting rules when you are not the ones doing the parenting?

Again, in our case, my mother plans to stay with us for a couple of months when I’ll need her the most, but beyond that I know she’ll be itching to go back home and we wouldn’t ask her to stay back either. Sure, we’ll very likely struggle to handle baby by ourselves for the first few weeks, but hey, baby’s going to be a part of our little family and the three of us will just need to get used to each other!

My former non-judgmental self butts in: Perhaps I am being too harsh here? If the grandparents and parents don’t mind, who am I to complain? But somehow this practice makes me very uneasy. What do you guys think?

And that brings me to the familiar stay-at-home versus work-outside-the-home mommy argument. I am still a fence-sitter on this one. As long as mothers stay home with their babies in the initial few months when babies physically need mommy, I don’t see a reason for women to give up their dreams and ambitions for their kids – unless they wish to do so. After all, kids will grow up and get busy with their own lives someday. What does that leave mommy with?

But yes, younger kids need a lot of time and attention. And after a certain age, a dad can probably meet that need just as well as (and sometimes better than) a mom. Again, each family needs to sit down and work out what suits them best I think. Perhaps one parent can choose to work part-time or from home. Or perhaps you will be amongst the blessed few to find a loving caregiver nearby or a day-care right in the office!

As for me, I am still undecided. I just know my impending motherhood is a great time to re-examine where I am headed. Am I happy doing what I am doing? Would I be just as happy ten years down the  line? Nothing like a baby to jolt you into some major soul-searching!

After such a long gap, it’s difficult to find the right words again. Has something similar happened to you? You know, this feverish blogger phase when the words just seem to flow, when every little thought becomes a lovely thought-provoking post and then, suddenly, nothing! But I do miss blogging. So I decided, today I just had to write something, even if it turns out to be junk. Baby steps are the way to go these days!

So here’s what’s been happening in my life…

I am mid-way into the second trimester of my pregnancy, just about to complete five months. The morning sickness has all gone, but the new problem-of-the-ever-expanding-tummy seems so much worse now! How much more can my skin stretch, I keep asking the husband in frustration every day. To which he lovingly pats baby and gives it an adoring look and asks it to grow some more and make it fast. Yeah right, but what about my tummy?

We had our big ultrasound last week. Where we found out our baby is a… umm…err…  something I had totally not expected shall we say! I would be lying if I said I wasn’t a teeny weeny bit disappointed, but hey, baby’s very healthy, all the tests have been fine so far, so it would be very selfish of me to complain. I’ll just need some time to get used to the idea of being mommy to a baby boy/girl rather than a baby boy/girl I guess!

(Sorry for the secrecy and total confusion friends, all this is just for my dad who reads this blog and for some reason does not wish to know the baby’s gender beforehand.)

Baby’s also super-active it seems. The ultrasound technician kept laughing at its antics throughout. It kept flipping over just when she was ready to take a picture! At the end of it, she asked me to ‘buy good running shoes – you’ll need them’!

Which brings me to – I am so scared of motherhood already! What with the gender shock and the approaching delivery date, its difficult to be the cool never-frazzled mommy of my dreams. The actual delivery is terrifying of course, but I’m more scared of what’s to follow. You mean, the baby’s going to come home with me from the hospital? I have to take care of it 24×7? What if I need a break? And how do I keep it entertained? Should I learn some baby songs now? Or will my usual filmi collection do? But what if baby simply hates my voice?

As you can see, fun times are coming up for us. Hang in there for the ride folks!

Err… B for Baby? Or B for Blogging! Either way, the two don’t go hand-in-hand it seems. At least in my life!

Okay, so let me spell it out. First things first – a huge apology and a very big thanks to all you sweet people who kept checking on me the last few months. I am truly very sorry I had to go away without any notice. But I had a very good excuse you see…

Yes friends, I am P-R-E-G-N-A-N-T! Yoohoo! 17 weeks pregnant!

And the baby, who seems to have a mind of its own already, did not care to see me blogging  at all. Nausea, tiredness, food aversions, sleepiness, sleeplessness, headaches – each day seemed to bring a symptom of its own with it! And I struggled just to get through the day, especially at work. But all that’s in the past (hopefully). Or for a couple of months at least I think!

I am feeling much better now. All the symptoms have gone, and except for an occasional headache and of course the always-there heaviness, I am fine. And am logging in to catch up with everyone the first chance I get. Just hope there are a few folks still reading this!

Actually, I feel so good, the husband and I sneaked in a small babymoon trip this past weekend. We traveled to the Finger Lakes area of upstate New York to see the fall colors. Our first trip after the big news. Needless to say, it was fabulous! I’ll leave you with some pictures. And a promise to try and be more regular from here on. Ta!

]]> http://jottingsnmusings.wordpress.com/2009/10/27/a-for-apology-b-for/feed/ 29 jottingsnmusings Cornell, Ithaca Taughanock Falls Fall Colors http://jottingsnmusings.wordpress.com/2009/06/17/the-time-and-place-for-assertiveness/ http://jottingsnmusings.wordpress.com/2009/06/17/the-time-and-place-for-assertiveness/#comments Wed, 17 Jun 2009 21:55:36 +0000 jottingsnmusings http://jottingsnmusings.wordpress.com/?p=822 ]]>

7:30 AM. I am about to finish my fourth and last loop around our apartment community. It’s a beautiful morning, with a lovely cool breeze and bright warm sunshine. Add to it our community’s green lawns, twittering birds and gorgeous terrace gardens in every other apartment and I’m in seventh heaven. I feel fresh and chirpy, ready to take on the world. Except the canine variety, as I am about to find out.

Despite my cheery state of mind, I’ve been walking for a half hour now, at a fairly brisk pace I must add, and am somewhat tired and distracted as a result. So I fail to spot the friendly neighborhood puppy, unleashed as usual, still at a safe distance from me. And I walk on, without a care in the world, entering the puppy’s ‘territory’ with my next few steps I suppose.

Said puppy bounds over playfully to greet me. She’s a friendly sort I’m sure, her little yelps and barks meaning ‘Good morning! What a pleasant day!’ in doggie-speak no doubt. Unfortunately for me, I don’t understand doggie-speak. So I stop dead in my tracks. And look around helplessly for the puppy’s owner. Said owner, flirting with the next-door neighbor, takes her own sweet time to amble over. Still, she’s nice enough to throw a lazy ‘She doesn’t bite!’ my way, halfway through her stroll.

Notice how every dog-owner earnestly believes this about their dog? ‘Maybe not, but I don’t want to be the first to find out you’re wrong!’, I want to yell back. A thousand different retorts rush through my mind. One of which goes – ‘Isn’t it a community rule to have your dog on leash at all times? I stay here too. Can’t I take my morning walk in peace?’ Now don’t get me wrong. I love doggies! I’ll even take your word for it if you insist they are adorable creatures. All I ask for is they stay outside a 10 foot radius around me. Is that too much to wish for, tell me?

But the best time to argue with a dog-owner is not when their dog is itching to throw herself on you and is being held back only by the owner’s smartly barked commands, I ruefully realize. And go home to lick my wounds. There are better ways to practice my assertiveness skills, I tell myself. I can always call up the community manager to make an anonymous complaint in the evening. From the safety of my home preferably.

]]> http://jottingsnmusings.wordpress.com/2009/06/17/the-time-and-place-for-assertiveness/feed/ 29 jottingsnmusings http://jottingsnmusings.wordpress.com/2009/06/01/am-i-really-happy-1/ http://jottingsnmusings.wordpress.com/2009/06/01/am-i-really-happy-1/#comments Mon, 01 Jun 2009 22:29:12 +0000 jottingsnmusings http://jottingsnmusings.wordpress.com/?p=819 ]]>

Yes, such weighty matters have been crossing my normally carefree mind quite often lately. Perhaps this is exactly how twenty-somethings are supposed to react to their approaching thirties? In that case, it’s nice to know I am sticking to the script, thank you very much! But if you ask me, I blame our generation’s favorite obsession – facebook – instead.

Last week, a couple we know from our college days posted pictures of their Memorial Day weekend camping trip. Two dozen bright smiling faces, all seemingly ecstatic in each other’s company. How nice! Except that I don’t have that big a group of friends, forget going on a camping trip with them, I thought wistfully.

‘My husband’s joining an elite leadership grooming program in XYZ bluechip MNC!’, someone I barely knew in college wrote in yesterday. And proceeded to post pictures of her swanky new BMW a few minutes later. Hmmph!

And then I came across another long-lost friend. With a happy-family-portrait (handsome husband, lovely wife, cherubic kid and gorgeous mansion in the background) as her profile picture. Now this was the last straw!

Was everyone I knew becoming rich, successful, pretty and popular overnight? Why this sudden rush to buy houses and BMWs and announce pregnancies? Was I getting left behind somehow?

Now regular readers of this blog would (hopefully) agree I am not usually this jealous, insecure or petty. But its tough to think rationally (and nicely) all the time. So rather than mope around or dismiss my feelings and pretend I’m above it all, I thought I’d sit down and analyze a few things instead. Find out if I am really happy. And if there are things I could do to be happier?

On second thoughts, I don’t think true happiness can be relative anyhow. The momentary flash of joy that comes with a diamond ring or that long sought-after promotion perhaps. But not the real sort of happiness that one feels from deep within. And I always thought I was happy that way. So why am I panicking now?

But more on that later…

P.S. In the meanwhile, I’d love to hear from you friends – how happy do you think you really are? Do you feel envious of others at times? Go on, be honest. I promise not to judge!

P.P.S. Why do people feel compelled to share every detail of their life on facebook do you think? Everything from ‘I got a fantastic review at work yesterday’ to ‘my husband was mean to me last night’? Someone let me in on the secret please!

Sometime back, I had written about my cousin M and the initial adjustment problems she faced in her marriage last year. Thankfully, when I met her this time, she seemed much happier. I didn’t want to pry too much and she didn’t seem keen to discuss it either, but she let me know in her own way that she had made peace with her situation. Or perhaps her in-laws and husband have changed for the better, which is what I hope has happened. Either way, M was happy and glowing (and pregnant!) and we had a wonderful evening together.

Something of the old uneasiness did slip in to our conversation once though. M was telling me about their frequent trips to her husband’s ancestral village in the Konkan region of Maharashtra. Their family are the traditional custodians of the village temple it seems and their presence is required for all the big festivals where the family does the pooja and serves food to the entire village. How wonderful, was my first thought! Except that M then mentioned that only their family and the other Brahmins in the village are served food in the main temple while everyone else eats outside. And she seemed distinctly uneasy when she said that.

The background to this story is that M’s family is from a so-called lower caste and there was considerable ‘reluctance’ to their marriage from her husband’s Brahmin family initially. (Notice how there’s no real opposition these days? It’s a more polite but just as firm reluctance instead!) I suppose M is considered a Brahmin after her wedding which is how she gets to serve food and eat in the temple now. But what if her parents were to attend the pooja someday? Would they eat outside with people from their own caste? Or would some of their daughter’s Brahminness rub off on them for a day and they get to eat inside as a special privilege?

I’m sure these thoughts were running through M’s mind as we spoke. Her normally cheerful face seemed troubled for a moment. And then she hurriedly changed the topic and we moved on to speak of happier things. But the moment stayed with me after I went home. Why do people still follow these caste rules? What is the point in this day and age where caste plays no role in how educated or cultured a person really is? Don’t they see the futility and injustice in these distinctions? I can understand the temple may not accommodate the whole village. Why not serve food on a first-come-first-serve basis inside the temple then? The latecomers can very well eat outside!

I couldn’t help but contrast M’s in-laws’ attitude with my nana-nani’s then. M’s mother, an impoverished orphan struggling to support herself and her aged grandmother – her only living relative, was my mother’s best friend in college. When my nana-nani got to know her, they ‘adopted’ her (emotionally, not legally) and she’s been a part of our family ever since. I call M’s mother mavshi, my mamas buy the same presents for her as they do for my mom and my ‘real’ mausis on raksha bandhan and I get really confused and irritated each time someone questions if M is actually my cousin!  My mom’s family is Brahmin too but tell me, how does that even enter the picture?

Brought up in a household obsessed with Hindi film music, my exposure to any sort of ‘non-Indian’ music is so limited, it’s not funny at all. So when the husband proposed we go to a Yanni concert last Friday, I was skeptical. Isn’t he the guy who played at the Taj Mahal a few years ago, I asked? That was the sum total of my knowledge of the master pianist. But the husband seemed rather keen, so we went. And I ended up being one of the loudest cheerleaders in our part of the stands. Now if only I could whistle, I’d surely have been the loudest!

To say the concert was good is to insult the magic of those two hours. There was divine music, exquisite dancing and a certain special something in the air. It was superb, magical, enthralling – basically out of this world. Tell me – where else do you get to see a big happy smile on everybody around you? The musicians seemed the happiest of the lot. They indulged in oneupmanship and cheered the loudest when their teammates outdid them. There was a special bond amongst them that was a privilege to simply watch. The evening ended all too soon, as is often the case with enjoyable evenings. The band played encore after encore, yet we in the audience hungered for more. We were on our feet, clapping and cheering and basically just refusing to leave!

In my post-concert euphoria, I was all set to be suitably grateful to the husband but that was not to be. On our way out, he asked me if the Taj Mahal guy was any good. With a transparently halfhearted attempt at keeping a straight face. Naturally, he got a withering glare for his efforts. The man is yet to learn when not to press home his advantage!

It’s official. My legs and I are not friends anymore. This is how it happened. Our friends, S and A, and the husband and I went biking the Lehigh Gorge trail at Jim Thorpe, PA yesterday.

“25 miles of pure nature, including small waterfalls, and continuous views of the Lehigh River. Make sure to bring your camera, lunch, and plenty of water for this exciting journey!” – the trail description read.

Sounds good, doesn’t it? Except that we sort of missed the 25 miles part, concentrating on the waterfalls and nature bit instead. And how I wish they had mentioned bringing along a signed, sealed contract with our legs rather than the camera – I promise not to declare a strike mid-way down the trail, I promise not to go to sleep in the middle of nowhere etc.

So there we were, starting out bright and early at around 3 PM. The shuttle service that took us to the top of the trail was very reassuring – you should be back in about 3 hours, it’s an easy downhill ride. Plus it’s almost summer, daylight is till 8 o’clock, we told ourselves. How late can we possibly get?

The first 5 miles were just as beautiful as we had imagined them to be. Pure unadulterated nature – a playful river on one side, cascading waterfalls every few minutes on the other, chirping birds, a cool breeze – heaven!

Except that the easy downhill trail we were promised never materialized! And then the legs decided to make themselves heard.

My legs (grumbling): We are being ignored, you take us for granted, we protest this shoddy treatment!

Me (slightly alarmed): Err, no, no, what are you talking about? I love you, truly!

My legs (angrily): So when was the last time you gave us some exercise? And now you want us to carry you 25 miles – no way!

Me (totally alarmed now): Please, let’s go home and discuss this, okay?

Right leg (fierce and determined): No! We are tired of your false promises. We demand a break now! I am going off to sleep – bye!

Left leg (after a while): Wait, I’m coming too. Bye, JnM!

So there we were, four tired souls and a pair of legs on strike, somewhere mid-way along the 25 mile trail and with twilight fast approaching. There was no cellphone reception, no helplines, not a soul in sight and no access to a motorable road or civilization except at the end of the trail!

So what happened next? Please don’t ask, I don’t want to think about it ever. If I am writing this post, we must have come home, right? Right!

P.S. God bless the park ranger who found us, 3 miles short of the trailhead, and gave us a ride to the parking lot. I would have gone down on my knees to thank her except for those stupid legs, remember?

My first attempts at 55 Fiction – comments eagerly anticipated!

—

Renewal

She winced as he flung the catalog and walked away, slamming the door shut.

“Why try to fill the home when my heart feels so empty?”

Hours crept by, unnoticed. And then he walked in again, her favorite daffodils in hand. Her face lit up as their eyes met.

“Which color should the curtains be?”

—

So finally I am back, again! And as promised, I’ll start with a roundup of our (now not-so) recent India trip. There’s so much to write though that I thought I’ll do it in episodes, to keep things short and interesting.

So let me start with the highlight of my trip – attending my childhood friend A’s engagement ceremony the very day I landed in Mumbai. Living in the US, I have missed many such weddings and social occasions in the past two years. Add to it the fact that A actually postponed her engagement by a day so I could make it – her boyfriend was keen on Valentine’s day and she had to really push him to agree for the 15th – and I was naturally ecstatic!

A has been my best friend since we were toddlers. We were neighbors and our moms were best friends. So with both our dads working abroad, our families spent almost every evening together. Our home was on the ground floor, A’s on the third. Be it A’s mom, V mavshi, coming home from work or A and her brother coming home from school, a trip to the third floor hardly ever happened without a longish stop on the ground floor!

The two moms went for walks and vegetable shopping in the evening, while A and I played outside or chatted and giggled behind closed doors in our teenage years, struggling to get rid of A’s pesky younger brother as we got older. We watched our evening television together and the night meal was usually shared as well, to the delight of the bai who cooked in both homes!

This cosy semi-family unit was shockingly shattered one day when V mavshi was diagnosed with leukemia and passed away soon after. We were all heartbroken but A took it the worst. Sadly, our friendship too did not survive this loss.

We were both sixteen then and about to enter college. We made new friends in college and got busy with our new lives. Not that it had to, but something changed in our friendship that year. It’s hard to say what and I’ve been struggling with the why for many years now but from ‘best friends’ we turned into ‘good friends’ and later, just occasional acquaintances.

The change was hard for me to accept. I was never a gregarious person – I’ve always had just one or two close friends at any point of time and for many years, A and I were so close that I had no need for anyone else. She was like the sister I never had and people often mistook us for twins when we were out together.

I could see A withdraw into a shell after her mother’s death. In many ways, this was perfectly understandable and I tried my best to support her in those difficult times. But gradually I got the impression she resented my efforts to get close to her again. She had made new friends in college and she very obviously preferred their company to mine. I tried discussing it with her, but her response was always the same bland – no, nothing of that sort, you are imagining things. I had no choice but to let go after a point.

Was I not a good enough friend to A in her time of need? I struggled to answer this question for years. Perhaps not. Or maybe I really was imagining things. Did we simply drift apart? My hunch is this – my mother and I reminded A of those good old times when all of us had so much fun together and she wanted to stay away from those bitter-sweet memories and therefore, us.

I had accepted that I might never get to know the real reason. But I was pleasantly surprised when A got in touch with me last year. She called, wrote a pretty emotional email and generally behaved as if we had never drifted apart! And then the engagement invite. Which was just a day before when I was scheduled to land in Mumbai.

‘I really want to come’, I said. ‘Yes, you should be there’, she insisted. ‘But my tickets are booked, they cannot be changed!’ ‘No problem, we’ll get engaged on the 15th instead!’ ‘Really, can you do that? But isn’t your boyfriend keen on V day?’ ‘I’ll manage him, don’t you worry’, A grinned! Needless to say, I was thrilled!

And that is how I managed to attend my childhood friend A’s engagement on the morning of 15th February, only a few hours after I landed in Mumbai. The ceremony was lovely, A looked radiant, she squealed and ran to me as soon as she spotted me – I couldn’t have been happier. It was a perfect start to my India vacation!

Nothing brightens up a room better than a bunch of colorful flowers, I have always believed. And no gift gladdens my heart more than a surprise bouquet thrust into my hands!

So the husband, after almost four years of marriage, is finally learning. Here’s the welcome home gift he got for me a couple of days after we were back in New York.

The husband simply warmed my heart!

Then last week, our office participated in the American Cancer Society’s Daffodil Days campaign. And I, as usual, forgot to order our daffodils. As I had forgotten last year. When a kind elderly colleague saw my crestfallen face and insisted I keep his daffodil plant.

This year, anticipating my forgetfulness perhaps, he had ordered two. And left one by my desk with a lovely little note explaining the gift.

‘Please don’t!’, I protested, ‘You got me one last time too!’

‘Let’s make it a tradition then, shall we? I’ll get you one next year as well!’

So that, my friends, is my dear little daffodil plant!

And finally there is this dear old lady in our office who’s off on a long leave,  recuperating after multiple knee and hip operations. In the midst of all that excitement and pain, she took time out to send daffodils to all of us who’d sent over a get-well-soon basket to her home last month.

It sounds so simple, doesn’t it, the secret to making others happy?

Now if only we’d remember to do it everyday!

I am back! The trip was wonderful, short but action-packed. There’s lots to write about but I’m still settling in, so bear with me please.

Till then, I’ll leave you with the 50 secrets PackofJellyBeans tagged me to tell you about.

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?

Yes. A mythological character, mother to one of our most famous Gods. I hated my name when I was young, for all the teasing it brought on.

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?

Last Sunday, when we left Mumbai to come back home to New York. I didn’t really cry, but my eyes were wet when we entered the airport terminal and I couldn’t see my parents anymore.

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?

Naah, hate it! It’s small, round and childish. I envied people with gorgeous calligraphy-like cursive handwriting when in school. But it hardly matters now. My hand shakes when I write more than a couple of sentences these days.

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?

None. I am vegetarian.

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?

No, not yet.

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?

I am tempted to say – definitely yes – but something holds me back. I have always had very few friends – in school, college or otherwise. And even fewer of these friendships have lasted over the years.

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM?

No. I am not very good at it. People close to me tell me I am too straightforward for my own good.

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?

Yes.

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?

Not for a billion bucks!

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?

I don’t like cereals. But since I am forced to eat them nowadays, Honey Bunches of Almonds is the least intolerable one I find.

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?

Never! And always get scolded by my parents/husband when they catch me at it.

12. IF YOU WERE TO PICK YOU OWN FIRST NAME, WHAT WOULD IT BE?

When I was young I’d pick a new name for myself every few months. But right now I have made my peace with my own name.

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?

Chocolate! I rarely ever order any other ice cream when given a choice.

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?

The expression on their face. I am usually attracted to people with happy smiling faces. I rarely notice clothes or shoes at first glance.

15. RED OR PINK?

Pink. All sorts of pink shades. But red is good too. Dark rich reds. On second thoughts, I might actually prefer red to pink these days. Have I grown up?

16. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?

I am bad at reading situations. Or rather, I rarely try to. I act by impluse rather than thought. I cannot plan my actions and that gets me into trouble more often than not.

17. WHOM DO YOU MISS THE MOST?

My parents of course. Not that you would believe it if you saw us together – we are constantly arguing over the smallest of things. And I miss the husband terribly whenever he isn’t with me. Which rarely happens these days.

18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO COMPLETE THIS LIST?

Sure!

19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?

Black pants and shoes. Boring, I know! But I am in office.

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?

Nothing! Except for occasional sneezes and bless yous from co-workers, a habit that always amuses me.

22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?

Yellow. It’s a happy happy color.

23. FAVORITE SMELLS?

My favorite flowers – Rajnigandha, my favorite foods being cooked, forest or country smells, the combination of mehendi and nilgiri oil, the husband’s cologne or aftershave or whatever it is he uses that smells so nice!

24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?

My boss.

25. HOW DO YOU KNOW THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?

Through her blog.

26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?

Cricket, what else? But I need good company, the kind that’ll holler and bite their nails with me. I’m not much into sports otherwise.

27. HAIR COLOR?

Black.

28. EYE COLOR?

Black.

29.DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?

Yes. When I am not feeling lazy. Most times it’s the good old chashma.

30. FAVORITE FOODS?

All sorts of chaat. Pav Bhaji. Maggi. Papads.

31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?

Happy all the way!

32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?

Jab We Met. For the umpteenth time on the plane back home.

33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?

A bottle green and black jurta with mustard print on the neck and sleeves.

34.SUMMER OR WINTER?

Summer in New York, winter (such as it is) in Mumbai.

35. HUGS OR KISSES?

Hard to choose, I cannot do without either!

36. DESCRIBE YOUR PENCIL CUP?

It is a beautiful black Rajasthani cup with green engravings on it. Oh, and it’s currently empty except for a pair of earrings!

38. FAVORITE ARTIST(s)?

Madhuri Dixit. I had a huge Madhuri fixation in childhood. I’d scream on seeing her even today.

39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?

I am reading an assortment of Indian author books I picked up in Mumbai last week. I was so excited to get them, I started reading all of them at once! Q & A was the one I read last night.

40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?

The name of the company I work for.

41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT?

Barack Obama on CNN.

42. FAVORITE SOUND(S)?

Bird sounds early in the morning.

43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?

Haven’t listened to either!

44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?

Depends upon how you’d define home. My current home is thousands of miles away from my former home!

45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?

I am told I am tough to beat in a debate.

46. WHERE WERE U BORN?

Bombay. By the sea overlooking Haji Ali. Romantic na?

47. FAVORITE PIECE OF JEWELRY?

Earrings. I cannot leave my home without a matching pair on.

48. HOW DID YOU MEET YOUR SPOUSE/SIGNIFICANT OTHER?

I was with my best friend whom he happened to know. She introduced us. I hardly even noticed him then. The interesting part is that all our first three meetings were chance meetings on the streets of Mulund.

49. FAVORITE SONG?

Please don’t ask. Each time I like a song, I tell the husband – this one’s on my top ten list. Your top ten list has hundreds of songs he jokes. But I think I am especially partial to Pehla Nasha from JJWS if you insist I choose. Reminds me of the romantic young me.

50. FAVORITE MUSICAL?

Mughal-E-Azam. Amazing songs and beautifully woven into the story.

A confession – I really enjoyed doing this tag. Felt like one of those movie stars giving interviews for filmi magazines!

Last weekend, we took off to the Pennsylvania Poconos with a group of friends, eight of us adults and a cherubic two year old. What do I say of the experience?

Picture this – a remote mountainside cottage surrounded with snow. An old-fashioned fireplace to keep us warm. Playing games till 4 o’clock in the morning. Getting up at noon and eating maggi for brunch. Walking out and making a snowman right at our doorstep. Stamping in the snow to loosen it up for our snowman. Giggling at the silliest of jokes and sometimes for no reason at all.

An entire day of skiing and snowtubing. Interesting discussions and lots of banter and laughter. Three days of no internet, no television, no cellphone reception – almost no contact with the outside world. Just plain and simple fun! In short, an idyllic weekend! How I wish we had more of those!

Important note: I will be taking a short blogging break for the rest of February friends – we are off to Mumbai for our annual vacation home. I don’t need to tell you how excited I am, do I?

There’s so much awaiting me – a wedding, an engagement, a family function, my first visit to my very own home (the first time I’ll be seeing it as a home rather than a construction site!), a visit to B’lore and Pune, lots of shopping, hogging and of course meeting up with friends and family. All in the space of two weeks, can you believe it? I wish I could begin already…! 

See you soon friends!