In search of a fun life!

Notice how some people are naturally exuberant? Enthusiastic, vibrant, full of life, constantly bubbling with new thoughts and ideas and trying out new things. Such people are real fun to be with. I admire them truly. The best option, of course, is to actually be such a person. Which brings me to the big question, am I like that? Remember the cheesy Britannia ad, ‘Na re na na, 50-50’? That applies to me in this regard, I guess.

Another question, ever noticed how most people behave differently based on the company they are in? That’s the way it works for me too, but I do carry the concept to its logical extreme. I think I have probably been three or four completely different persons in my short life so far.

There was the bright outgoing me in school, the teacher’s pet, first to answer questions in class, usually made the class monitor every year, enthusiastic participant in all extra-curricular activities (except for dancing and sports), editor of one of the school magazines, you name it! Then something unfortunate happened during the tail end of my schooling years, I made the wrong kind of friends and paid dearly for my mistakes. I withdrew into my shell, becoming a quiet shy person in school and a bullying rebel at home.

In junior college I was lucky enough to find a great gang of friends, ten of us, all girls. We had great fun in those two years, lots of adventures, bunking classes and loafing around the campus, chatting, going to the movies, shopping, celebrating each other’s birthdays in a grand fashion and holding impromptu parties at each other’s homes. The best part was a wonderful best friend that I made, my friendship with her is one of the rare ones that are strong enough to withstand the test of time.

In the first year of engineering college I continued to be the enthusiastic me, participating in college activities and making lots of new friends. Then somehow, somewhere, I just lost steam. This time there was no unfortunate incident, nothing extraordinary that happened. I simply lost my confidence and withdrew into my shell again. I did well in my studies, maintained two of my close friendships and a few more casual ones, but that’s about it. No more college activities, no interactions with seniors and no hanging out with the class gang. It still puzzles me why I did that.

I recently met a senior from college, someone I spent some great times with during the rehearsals for the annual day play during my first year, and whom I stopped speaking to during my tortoise phase later. This guy greeted me enthusiastically, remembering me as he had known me in my first year. That got me thinking, why did I change? Why?

A while ago, I decided I am tired of this game of see-saw now. I want to be one of those fun persons I was talking about earlier. All the time, not just for a phase and not just with some people. I want to be cheerful and friendly, I want to do things rather than dream of them, I want to get in touch with old friends and make new ones. So many things to do, if only I have the grit to take them up.

Some would say a personality change is not a piece of cake, others would argue it’s a recipe for disaster. I’m sure some would even go so far as to say there’s something wrong in me for thinking this way. But hey, its my life! And I’ve decided this is what I want for myself. So there I go, in search of a fun life! Tips, anyone?


10 responses to “In search of a fun life!

  1. Alright, that’s it. I think we are actually living out MPD! 😀

    Am gonna look out for tips from u- dint u have a bdy party with almost all of yr office in attendance 😉

  2. CW, My dad sent me this lovely quote a few days back – ‘The deepest secret is that life is not a process of discovery, but a process of creation. You are not discovering yourself, but creating yourself anew. Seek, therefore not to find out who you are, seek to determine who you want to be.’

    Excellently sums up what I had to say in my post, doesn’t it? So now that my dad (my hero) has certified the approach, creating myself anew is what I am trying to do!

    The b’day party and so many of the changes in the past few weeks stem from there, I think.

  3. Hi,

    It has been sometime since you posted this. Are you still inclined towards that personality change?
    If you are then,
    I wondered as to what I would do.
    Change my personality
    overcome certain traits in me which are having a negative impact on my personality
    Changing my personality to be someone else’s would’nt be me.
    I think I would opt for the second.
    Well, go ahead and try it out. Find a quiet corner, sit down and list out your pluses and minues ( at 25 that should’nt be a problem-by the way, belated wishes for your B’day:-))

    Good luck

  4. Umm, Sumi – thanks for the advice but I had meant this post in a slightly different context.

    What you have suggested is a nice thing to do (and I hope I’ll do it sometime soon), but what I was trying to say is that I am two opposite persons (extrovert/introvert, chirpy/melancholic) with different people or at different times and that is something I’d like to change.

  5. Very good post.. Infact everybody think about changing themselves to the best but it depends on what you define as the best?
    sometimes being fun loving becomes the best, sometimes it would be being very serious/silent types! well, change is a very good thing that happens and one must be comfortable with the change
    In a simple way, I beleive our present should be in such a way that it would lead to a pleasant memory…

    Thats what I think personally 🙂 I remember reading somewhere, ಹೊಸ ಸ್ವಭಾವ ರೂಡಿಸಿಕೊಳ್ಳುವುದು ಒಂದು ಸ್ವಭಾವವೆ! which loosely translates to ‘Changing your habits is also in a way a habit’

    Well, you spoke about so many friends in your post, some you decided as ‘wrong kind’ and some as the best.. what did you see in them to do this classification ? Is that the attitude or the habits or the how their friendship affected you ?


  6. I agree, one should perhaps make ‘changing bad habits’ a habit! Now that sounds like an exciting action item to me Veena! 🙂

    About the criteria for classifying friends as good or bad, I think it would be a combination of all you mentioned. Primarily their attitudes/thoughts/habits, which naturally would translate into how their company affects us. For example, a grumpy friend basically has an attitude problem, but his/her grumpiness might eventually end up affecting us too, wouldn’t it?

    In my case, I made some snobbish friends in school, girls who were interested only in clothes, fashion, boys etc. basically working at being ‘cool’ only… and at a point when I should have been concentrating on my studies (10th, 12th), such friends would have had the worst kind of influence, as you can imagine, right?

    That I did eventually manage to come out of that phase and get back to my old simple ways would just be God’s grace and the influence of other better friends, I would say. From my own experiences, I strongly believe one can never over-estimate the influence of friends, especially in the formative teenage years.

    Phew! I think I got really worked up looking back at those times, Veena. Sorry! 🙂

  7. On another note, is that kannada that you’ve written Veena? I am half-Kanada myself (from my dad’s side), but never learnt to read/write the script. My attya tried a lot, but I never got past the alphabet ‘a’. Now I was trying to look for ‘a’ in your lines, but didn’t find one. Please tell me there’s no ‘a’ in there! 🙂

  8. Devaki, We all change in due course of time, and sometimes it is good for the phase that we are living in. Then, as life takes us places, we adjust, we change and that is also for the better too.
    Reading this post made me recall my own childhood, teenage, and the present phase. I have changed like anything. But I feel it is for the better. I am also alternatively melancholic, and totally extrovert. Two extremities of human nature.

  9. Why don’t you do a post on the changes Manpreet? Should be interesting, right? I always love to find out what makes people tick.

    You are right about changing with the times, but one shouldn’t change too much either, I think. Plus conscious change is so much tougher than unconscious change, what say?

    You are right, this comment chain is getting too long. Perhaps we should email instead!

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