As the title of my post suggests, this question has been troubling me a lot since last night. Where do you draw the line? While asking personal questions, giving your opinion, or just kidding around with friends? Perhaps a more pertinent question for our times might be, is there still a line?
I was chatting with a good friend from my college days last night. A male friend, a fact that has had absolutely no relevance to our friendship, in my mind at least. Till last night, that is.
So we were chatting. The friend wished me a belated happy birthday. I decided to give him a hard time for being late in wishing me. To which, his very shocking reply was something I wouldn’t like to quote on this blog, all I’ll say is that it was a clear case of very blatant flirting.
To add insult to injury, he responded to my shocked and enraged reaction with a ‘I know I shouldn’t be flirting with you but I can’t really help it’ kind of lame excuse! It took me a while just to believe what I was reading, that’s how unexpected and uncalled for his behavior was.
I consider this guy a good friend, we have spent some happy times together in college, sharing some great conversations and lots of jokes, pranks and fun. It’s difficult for me to break our friendship on the basis of a single odd conversation. To add to my confusion, he kept sending me apologetic messages and smileys once he knew I was upset with him. I told him I was feeling strange and would speak with him later, before signing off.
Was I making a mountain of a molehill? I thought I knew this guy, I always thought of him as a good and decent person. So was I overreacting? Was he just joking and had I taken his words far more seriously than he intended them to be? I have no easy answers on this one.
I know my generation believes in a far more intimate and casual culture than I am comfortable with. I know lots of people, my own friends, who wouldn’t think twice about our conversation last night. The common attitude is, ‘chalta hain yaar’, ‘who cares’, ‘just chill’ and the like.
On the other hand, shouldn’t there be some kind of limit even in the closest of friendships? A distance, a certain dignity to be maintained, even among friends? I think there should. And if our limits differ from other people’s, I think it’s up to us to clarify the difference.
A much better option than to give up on people who are different, wouldn’t you say? Of course, the latter might be the last option if repeated clarifications do not work. Do you guys agree?