My Dreams Ahead…!

When I was ten years old, life couldn’t move fast enough for me! I was in a great rush to grow up. The world was busy dressing up in beautiful clothes, eating out everyday, traveling to exotic places and generally having a gala time while I was stuck in school and at home, under Aai’s watchful eyes, it seemed to me.

I wanted to go to college and be free to come and go as I pleased and I couldn’t wait to give my last exam and bid goodbye to my textbooks once and for all! Then I dreamt of wearing fancy business suits and having an important jet-setting job that brought in lots and lots of money I could pamper myself with. My fondest dream, of course, was of the day I would get married and be the cynosure of all eyes, the bride! I’d hug myself and smile in anticipation of that thrilling moment. And my husband would be the most loving husband ever and we would live in my very own house of dreams happily ever after and….

And on the dream went! Oh yes, I was in a great hurry to grow up those days. Every year I’d announce to anyone who cared to listen, ‘I am twelve today you know, not eleven but TWELVE!’ And on the twelfth birthday, I would proudly announce again, ‘I am thirteen now, please don’t call me twelve, I am THIRTEEN!’

And so on, until I entered my twenties and started working and got married and somewhere in the midst of all that my mind did a complete turnaround without the courtesy of informing me. Come my twenty fourth birthday and I found myself shrieking, ‘No, I can’t be twenty four already! That’s so… so OLD!!! And I am not old! Check again, I must be eighteen or nineteen perhaps!’ And that has been the story of my birthdays for the past couple of years now.

So I turn twenty six today and I don’t know how I should feel about it. Somewhere inside me is the bubbly little girl still waiting to grow up, who wants to jump up and down in excitement at the prospect of another birthday coming up. She wants balloons and streamers and cake and guests and lots of gifts of course! And overruling this little girl is the twenty six year old woman all of you see…

Far more practical and mellow than the little girl, she is the woman with a wonderful marriage and a very nice home indeed but the wonderful marriage involves its fair share of squabbles and the house of dreams belongs in her dreams alone, she ruefully admits. Yes, this working woman brings home a great paycheck, but she has no wish to be part of the jet-setting crowd anymore, if ever that was a real prospect in the first place! And running around trying to balance work and home and family as best as she can, this woman realizes how hard it is to be superwoman in real life, unlike in the little girl’s rosy dreams.

But this woman is also a somewhat confused and pensive twenty six year old today, wondering when and how the twenty six years she is supposed to have lived passed her by? When exactly did she grow from child to girl to woman? And is she where she dreamt of being today? Has she lived those twenty six years well? To the fullest? And what’s ahead? Which among her childhood dreams were absolute nonsense and which ones does she need to work on from here?

What better time than a birthday for a little soul searching, huh? Let me list down dreams I’d like to work on this year. Simple stuff this is, unlike the lofty dreams of my childhood, but that’s what age does to a person, you know – it makes you practical! Sigh!

1. Understand and support the husband some more, learn to resolve our conflicts in a less childlike manner!

2. Stop arguing with my parents over silly little things.

3. Learn to be a better friend. Compliment others. Smile at strangers. Invite people home more often. Try and be more social and outgoing in general.

4. Stay in touch with family and friends. Call up people just to chat, without a motive. Remember birthdays and anniversaries and festivals.

5. Learn to ignore and tolerate fools with a smile. Learn to compromise with grace. Learn to stop worrying over problems that may never happen and others over which I have no control. Stop worrying and start living!

6. Improve my health overall. Stick to my diet and exercise plan. Avoid junk food!

7. Stop worrying over what others think of me. Believe in myself.

8. Indulge in my favorite activities. Travel, see or do something new every other weekend, go for longer and more challenging hikes, keep up with my music class, sing more in front of an audience, cook new dishes, try and write better blog posts, get back to reading.

9. Learn to parallel park. And get my driver’s license and start driving alone! I can do it!

And with that I’d like to sign off but the bubbly little girl inside won’t let me go without letting her speak too, so please indulge us for a while more. ‘Come on, it’s our birthday, let me out today!’, she says. To be fair, I feel a teeny weeny bit excited too. Not enough to shout from the rooftops as I used to perhaps, but I do want to indulge in my favorite childhood refrain on my blog at least – Hey, today is twenty fifth September, it’s my birthday! Come over and wish me na!

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25 responses to “My Dreams Ahead…!

  1. Happy Birthday Devika! And for your sake, I hope you stick to all you resolutions.

    Time flies, doesn’t it? And before we know we’re more grown up that we thought we could be πŸ™‚

  2. Many happy returns of the day!

    Your post title is compelling and makes an instant connection, to read the post as well as reminisce our own dreams and the life ahead. My list would read pretty much the same as yours

  3. I cannot believe it – this is the second birthday of yours that I am reading about – meaning, i have been reading you for more than a year. In my head, you are still the new blogger on the block! πŸ˜€

    Before I forget and just ramble on and sign off, here’s wishing you a v happy bday, and many more to come.

  4. Belated Happy B-day! And good luck on the resolutions!

    I can relate to what u are saying…Once we reach mid 20s, we realize we are no longer young/kids anymore :)..
    I long to be 18 again sometimes…That would take me back to college and i loved those days..

  5. Happy Birthday, and hope you do do something fun and exciting and girlish on your special day!

    Wait for another decade or so, and you will think that you were still a girl in 2008, compared to the woman you’ll be then! πŸ™‚

  6. Babes – loved this post and I can blindly agree to all that you have listed in your To Do list πŸ™‚ Totally agree with all of them cos I see myself saying the same things over and over to myself 😦 I cant believe I see so many similarities in all your posts! πŸ™‚

    Have a Grand Birthday and wishing you many many more fantabulous ones πŸ™‚ Love ya *hugs*

  7. WOW. Happy birthday Devaki.
    I remembered your post from the last year, the refrain of twenty five. LOL
    May the Almighty bless you with everything special and wonderful and may all your dreams come true…
    LOve you lots
    and with Hugs specially for this day,

  8. Thank you all – Mystic Margarita, IHM, Hemanth, S.M.A.R.T., Anu, D, AA_Mom, Shruthi, Ritu, Sumel, Jira, Arati, Snippets and Mampi – for wishing me here! Each wish means a lot to me – I truly appreciate it. A heartfelt thanks again!

    More later… tomorrow maybe! πŸ™‚

  9. Thanks so much Akhila!

    Nice to see you here Raj! You too? Wow! I know one more blogger (The Mad Momma) who shares our b’day and another’s (Sunayana Roy’s) son’s b’day is on the 25th too! So welcome to the club! And belated birthday wishes to you too. πŸ™‚

    Thanks Arti… and great idea! How could I forget this!!!

  10. Happy belated birthday. πŸ™‚ I hope you had a fabulous day!

    This entry was a nice one to read. It’s definitely true that when we are younger we are just DYING TO grow up, but the minute we hit the mid-twenties (or even a little earlier) all we can think about is growing back “down”. Hahah. Time really flies, doesn’t it?

    Hope you get to accomplish everything on your wish list as the year goes on and beyond. πŸ™‚

  11. Spot on Sindhu! In fact I just emailed a close friend yesterday and this is exactly what I wrote – I want to go back to 25 next year and 24 after that! πŸ™‚

  12. Sorry, i am still catching up on all your posts. Hope you had a wonderful birthday!!! Belated happy birthday!!

    From the view of a friend who is almost a decade older than you, all I can say is “hey, 26 is not that old you know?! you don’t have to be all grown-up. You can still be the little girl”. As you get older, you actually start enjoying the ‘added experience’……i mean, I was a fun 25 year old but boy, am i glad i have grown up and don’t have the insecurities of youth (not saying that everyone in their 20s has insecurities. I did; lots of them.)

    Hope you have a wonderful year ahead with lots of surprises (good ones) and happy moments!

  13. Hey, no probs Chakli, I just hope you get back to active blogging soon, been missing your posts and comments of course! You mean 26 is not old? πŸ˜‰ And don’t talk to me of insecurities, I have so many that I like to pretend I have none! And thanks for your wish! πŸ˜€

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