I am still terribly shaken by the Mumbai attacks, I have to admit. It’s been three weeks now but the horror refuses to fade. And the raw fear makes it hard for me to dwell on anything else for too long. ‘Will my loved ones and I be safe?’, I want to know. ‘Let there never be another attack, ever ever again! And no war, please God, please protect us!’, I pray, over and over again. I hope He is listening.
Moving on to more cheerful news, the friend for whom I hosted a baby shower last month gave birth to a roly-poly little girl last night. The proud parents sent us some snaps pronto and I have been sneaking a look at them ever since. I have to confess – I am absolutely enchanted by this little princess! Pudgy little nose, twinkling little eyes, soft baby hair and the most perfect little fingers and toes – aren’t babies the sweetest miracle ever?
I’m dying to meet mother and daughter of course, but a bad cold and flu-like symptoms are holding me back. Sigh!
Babies are the best cure for even the worst sort of depression, don’t you think? Life affirming itself over death and all that jazz. I have been going around in circles ever since the Mumbai attacks, pondering over life and death and the finality and thoughtlessness of it all and other such weighty matters I’d never expected to think about in my twenties.
Why did it have to be so-and-so who died at CST that night? I know countless other folks who pass through there everyday. Did God protect them because they are good people? So were those unfortunate others who died bad people? I know it sounds terribly disrespectful but how else does one explain what happened? And how else can I console myself that my family is good, my friends are good and I am good, so nothing bad will happen to any of us?
All this is hogwash perhaps. I still pray I’ll be proved wrong but perhaps there’s no one protecting us out there. We are all on our own then. As Aai keeps saying, ‘Don’t worry, we’ll be fine until our time comes!’
Now if that’s the sort of world we live in, why not make the best of the time we do have? Considering there isn’t much else we can do, let’s live it up, I figured. So call it resilience or call it apathy, but I am going to be frivolous and happy from now on. Not exactly frivolous, but I think you know what I mean. If it’s all so random, there’s no point agonizing over things or trying to make sense of anything, is there?
I promise myself, I will stop brooding over problems I cannot solve. I shall take each day as it comes and live each moment as if it shall be my last. Cherish each gesture of love. Remind my loved ones how much I love them every chance I get. Laugh at the corniest of jokes and marvel at every beautiful sight. Enjoy each trip and relish every good meal. Smile my best smile and sing aloud whenever and wherever I wish to!
And I promise you, my blog will get back to its cheerful ways too, soon, very soon!
P.S. I realize, you know, that I am not the first person to reach this sort of profound conclusion. But this self-realization is a big step for me, so bear with me please!