Am I really happy? – 1

Yes, such weighty matters have been crossing my normally carefree mind quite often lately. Perhaps this is exactly how twenty-somethings are supposed to react to their approaching thirties? In that case, it’s nice to know I am sticking to the script, thank you very much! But if you ask me, I blame our generation’s favorite obsession – facebook – instead.

Last week, a couple we know from our college days posted pictures of their Memorial Day weekend camping trip. Two dozen bright smiling faces, all seemingly ecstatic in each other’s company. How nice! Except that I don’t have that big a group of friends, forget going on a camping trip with them, I thought wistfully.

‘My husband’s joining an elite leadership grooming program in XYZ bluechip MNC!’, someone I barely knew in college wrote in yesterday. And proceeded to post pictures of her swanky new BMW a few minutes later. Hmmph!

And then I came across another long-lost friend. With a happy-family-portrait (handsome husband, lovely wife, cherubic kid and gorgeous mansion in the background) as her profile picture. Now this was the last straw!

Was everyone I knew becoming rich, successful, pretty and popular overnight? Why this sudden rush to buy houses and BMWs and announce pregnancies? Was I getting left behind somehow?

Now regular readers of this blog would (hopefully) agree I am not usually this jealous, insecure or petty. But its tough to think rationally (and nicely) all the time. So rather than mope around or dismiss my feelings and pretend I’m above it all, I thought I’d sit down and analyze a few things instead. Find out if I am really happy. And if there are things I could do to be happier?

On second thoughts, I don’t think true happiness can be relative anyhow. The momentary flash of joy that comes with a diamond ring or that long sought-after promotion perhaps. But not the real sort of happiness that one feels from deep within. And I always thought I was happy that way. So why am I panicking now?

But more on that later…

P.S. In the meanwhile, I’d love to hear from you friends – how happy do you think you really are? Do you feel envious of others at times? Go on, be honest. I promise not to judge!

P.P.S. Why do people feel compelled to share every detail of their life on facebook do you think? Everything from ‘I got a fantastic review at work yesterday’ to ‘my husband was mean to me last night’? Someone let me in on the secret please!


42 responses to “Am I really happy? – 1

  1. I too have often wondered why people feel the need to post every second of their life on facebook. I mean I like to have updates from my friends but do I really need to know that they just took their trash out?

    Me: Ditto – my thoughts on facebook. πŸ™‚ It’s usually only amusing though, I hope I won’t let it bother me too much like it has today!

    I think we would all be a lot happier if we would stop comparing our lives to others. I know that I could be perfectly happy with my life if I didn’t feel the need to compare it with others. Honestly, I don’t mind where I am at in life until I am reminded that someone else is in a better place (according to them). I think its just human nature. Of course, you never know how many people are looking at your life and wishing they had the exact same things!

    Me: Yeah, I think that’s what I was trying to get at too. In absolute terms, I am pretty happy with my life. And Thank God for that!!!

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts E.B. This felt good!

  2. You know, I get that flash once in a while. A friend took their kids on vacay to Paris, another friend just bought a 4500 s ft house, and yet another bought a $25K RV. I know I would NEVER have the money for that..never..I tend to brood for a while.

    Me: Yeah, that’s exactly how my thoughts go too. Glad you understand. I know it’s petty, par kya karen? I guess it’s human to feel like this once in a while.

    I update quiet a bit on my FB as well but not crazy mundane stuff, but exciting! thrilling! fantastic! news πŸ™‚

    Me: And who can argue with that sort of enthusiasm dear S!!!

    PS: If it makes you feel better, think of me when I have my kids puking up over me or in the van. Think of me doing mounds and mounds of laundry… See you feel better already right?

    Me: You bet!!! πŸ˜€

  3. Hey, Bonus today! I get to read a new post from you within hours of the last, yay! πŸ˜€

    Me: πŸ˜€

    I am more of an Orkut person than Facebook, but I do know what you mean..actually..err..I belong to that category who posts pics of every other long trip on these sites for friends..mostly happy looking ones πŸ˜›

    Me: Arre, I don’t really mind the pics, post many myself. I was talking more about the various descriptive status messages. Actually it’s not even about them – it’s more about what they do to me – sometimes!!!

    There are days/moments when its frustrating/ bitter…but those are not captured on camera, no?Even if they are, we like to show our happy face to the world, I guess.

    Me: Now that’s a good thing to remember. So true!

    To answer your question on happiness – I’ll be honest, I don’t see an inner calm or lingering joy in me these days. Especially after the ‘Lost’ episode, if you know what I mean.

    Happiness for now comes to me in surges, if at all..but mostly short lived floaters, if I may say so. But I like to believe I am doing good and keep a positive outlook anyways.

    Me: I understand babe.

    Now, Smile pls πŸ™‚

    Me: πŸ˜€ again!

  4. You know what, there is “organized happiness” and “spontaneous unorganized happiness”. One generally grew up (in India) amidst the latter, sharing in everyones tribulations, successes, reverses, thrills, worries etc. Facebook was never a need then, nor Orkut

    And so dashing over to see something new that your neighbor has bought has been replaced by organized displays in the approved manner on facebook/Orkut, with typical captions.

    Your happiness is within you.

    (And not a function of square feet, fourwheeler engine sizes, and vacations where you do something so you can tell people and not because you really wanted to do it.).

    Me: So true! There are times I catch myself asking the husband to click me in a better pose, just so I can post nice pics!! Imagine! So I get what you’re saying about vacation where you do something so you can tell… But I try my best to let go of these feelings. And honestly I have always been the happiest doing the simplest of things. When I made my kandil and rangoli for Diwali last year… When I sang our neighbor’s baby to sleep last month… Will write more on this in my next post!

    OK. You are allowed to be jealous once in a while. Life would be boring otherwise. And happiness is really all about feeling a thrill over a good report received by someone in the family, an appreciation at work , a purchase of something planned carefully over a long time, children doing well, hearing about your parents good health report, and even someone eating what you cooked with such enthusiasm that the eaten plate looks polished clean.

    Dont organize your happiness too much. Just “Yenjoy”, and not “enjoy”…… πŸ™‚

    Me: Thanks! This is good advice.

  5. I am someone who dislikes all these social networking sites because I think it invades my privacy. There was a time when I disliked yahoo messenger too though I am fine with it to an extend. I am still old school and prefers e-mailing (that is indeed old school compared to FB, Orkut etc. πŸ˜€ )

    Me: You know, I emailed 5 friends last weekend. Only one replied back. I’m sure the rest will reply when they find the time but a scrap on orkut is usually answered within a day! Not pointing fingers at anyone, I’m guilty of this too at times. 😦

    As for happiness, I find happiness in small and big things. It depends on the mood too. My daughter’s smile in the morning when I wake her up actually brightens each day of my life. A piece of jewellery or just sitting in my garden reading a book also brings happiness.

    Me: Same here! And more on that later…

    As for people sharing their intimate details may be because they are ecstatic and finds happiness in sharing it. May be that’s what works for them. As long as they aren’t prodding anyone for their intimate details, I am okay.

    In a nutshell, everything depends upon our state of mind.

    Me: You are right. This is my problem not theirs. I generally find such behavior amusing when I’m in my usual sunny mood.

    And I think there is no one in the world who isn’t envious at some point. We are normal human beings with vices and virtues. So envy is a normal feeling all of us have.

  6. Something I just remembered:

    When I wasn’t blogging, a friend once e-mailed me a link to a mommy blogger and said not so nice things about this mommy blogger. This friend was not able to conceive so was sort of sad and the mommy blogger wrote about minute details of her kids from pictures to everything. This irked my friend.

    She told me whats the need for this woman to tell entire world about what her kids eat and drink and do.

    This friend has a food blog and an excellent cook. I told her that there might be many who hates cooking and find her blog a show-off too. That mommy blogger uses her space to share her joy because her kids are her joy. We can always choose to ignore if it irks us. People have different things which gives them happiness.

    Me: Absolutely!

  7. Hmm… trust me.. it happens all the time! Here you are smug and content with life.. and wham, you happen to stumble on peoples’ profiles, with lovely snaps of exotic locations, or like you mentioned, these fun camping (in my case, river rafting!) trips πŸ˜€

    They do make you jealous. Its crazy behavior if you ask me, because you know, and I know that we wouldn’t trade our lives for any one else’s.

    Me: You hit the nail right on its head!!! For all my envy, I wouldn’t exchange places with anyone!!!

    What I do, is count my blessing. Life is not perfect. And we all have our beautiful moments.. ( maybe not facebook worthy)… small birthday surprises, successfully baked cakes (!), new people commenting on our blogs.. the works.

    Maybe the problem is that we try and quantify the happiness that we get and compare it. Or maybe, we think too much of how the world sees us.

    Personally, I find yours a really happy sunshiny blog. So don’t fret!

  8. would you believe (coz i don’t) i just posted the answer to your question on my blog just before coming in here.

    Me: I read your post Oorja… it felt like you were speaking my mind. It was a beautiful post!!!

    this was exactly on my mind for a few days now and i managed to lecture myself this way…

    what you feel is true and i think we all do.. we just need to stop comparing.. we have a wonderful life. maybe we don’t show it off or in my case i do’t know how and don’t want to as i give great importance to privacy just as Solilo said.
    that doesn’t mean we don’t have a good life.

  9. I read your blog often but never comment. Today I have to.
    I hear you. I am in the same boat, and am plagued with the same confusions as you. This facebook/twitter/orkut constant updates make me mad as well. It seems like everyone I know is either buying a house, a new car or having babies and I am doing neither. But deep down I know I am happy. (I really cannot understand how people my age can buy a 400K house and then furnish it with the best furniture…….I am stumped…either we are bad managing the money or there is some other way I am missing!!)

    Me: Or perhaps you are ‘good’ at managing (saving) money and they aren’t? πŸ˜€

  10. I think I am reasonably happy. Who doesn’t want something more. In the sense, right now I envy the travel agent. We are planning a small holiday and we had to tell this guy it had to be a budget holiday – meaning no luxury hotel etc etc. Otherwise, I guess I really have nothing to complain about. Of course, one broods, one feels restless. When I think of the people who are gone and wish they were here – probably that’s the only real sadness. Just pray and thank god for the small comforts we enjoy ( we can overlook the luxuries, right?).

    Me: Lucky you! Going on a holiday is the best feeling in the world – who cares about luxuries? It is the fun you have that you’ll always remember! Have a great time Radha!!!

    And as for social networking sites – I am not part of any – feel it is not really my space. And also like you said, why does the world need to know what is happening in my life! I use my blog to express a few thoughts and views, and love the annonymity it offers!

  11. D, How do you know that these friends who post happy pics of weekend trips are happy throughout the week?:) Who knows, when they see a person owning a private jet they may feel unhappy about their BMW!

    Me: That’s true Jira! Envy has no end… 😦

    But I totally understand what you mean. I feel the kind of selective, momentary longing at times too… Especially when it comes to travel and kids πŸ™‚ Everytime my friends post pics of their exotic trip to Europe or Australia, I start planning mine! Same with the baby πŸ™‚ But I never long for the Mercs or BMWs or big houses…It kind of shows what your heart desires..right?
    But happiness is very subjective D. We cannot feel unhappy that someone else seems happier than we are. And twittrand Orkut…I don’t know..I don’t mind others’ status messages, but I myself can never be that vocal about my day to day life…

  12. In my opinion Happiness is a state of mind. You could have all the luxuries in the world and still be the most unhappiest and again have minimal stuff and be happy. I often feel jelous of many friends when I see them globe trotting, with plum jobs and having holidays every now and then and when I look at myself, a home maker, have’nt been on a holiday since 5 years…etc. But beyond that I look at my sweet little son, and a husband who I know for sure will sit up all night if I have a fever.. and I know I’ve caught a rainbow in my hands.

    Me: What a beautiful thought! Yes, it’s definitely a rainbow you have Medha!!!

    I noticed one thing,(dont know if its true), people who tend to show off a lot are really unhappy within… sorry! dont mean to hurt any one’s feelings…
    For me, the little joys in life matter much much more than the big things in life..


    Me: I don’t know if they are unhappy but I think attention-grabbing people are usually insecure in some way. Or perhaps they are the most secure people – who knows? But definitely that’s not me!!! πŸ˜€

  13. Interesting question. How happy am I? I don’t know. I’d say content. I feel good that I’m on a path to acheive what I think I’ll like and most of the time I enjoy my life.

    Me: Again, a beautiful thought! I never ‘measured’ contentment that way. But it makes a lot of sense!

    I agree the outside things just give a momentary “blip” of happiness.

    Sometimes it is hard, though, when people bring up things that you’d like to have but don’t yet. For me, it was a conversation with my mom. She said, “Things are so different nowadays. I didn’t think I’d have 4 kids in their 20s and only one is married, nobody has kids, nobody has a house yet.” I knew I am sometimes a little frustrated about not having a house yet and am sometimes a little impatient to have kids (sometimes a little terrified too) but it was weird having her say those things.

    All I can tell her and myself is that I’m on the right path and when I do have the house and kids that I will appreciate them so much the more and be more prepared and responsible. And I try to remind myself to be grateful for what I do have at the moment.

    Medha has a good point- that sometimes people show off when they are unhappy sometimes. Othertimes, they genuinely do want to share their happiness with others.

  14. D, I am amazed why you should even toy with the idea. You are a simple and a very contented soul, from what I make out from your posts. Yes, panic is the right word-and it will go. It happens to all of us-that momentary pang of a panic, a mild jealousy, a little regret-but it goes when you see things in a wider perspective. You are a person who likes and enjoys little things that life gives you. BMW is a welcome addition but I think you have enjoyed more on your bicycle than anything else. Hence, it is not abnormal what you feel, but then that is not what you are. You are much larger than these announcements.

    Me: πŸ˜€ Instant feel-goodness!!! Now I have to live up to your wonderful description of me Mampi!

    The reasons why people are broadcasting their lives might be many and personal to them. I do not believe in doing that. There are no secrets but why should anybody be interested in what i wore to a party last night. Time people grew up and out of their limited selves.
    You are the best, warm and genuine-stay that way.

  15. Happiness is a state of the mind – thats cliched, but as a woman- I really understood it when I turned 35. (btw- 30 is ARE great, far far better than 20s- the sex is better, the money is better, life is more in control, and u can speak out whatever u think of , even to the mom ( But I do go thru jealousy but its more like I want those red Guess shoes or I need to fit into that dress, damn what a lovely house she has etc etc. But one moves after precisely 20 mins- thats all the time the unhappiness lasts. I’m telling u- 30s is goooood. drool…..

    Me: Really? Are you sure? Okay, wait, don’t have all the fun on your own, I’m coming there soon!!! πŸ˜€

  16. Happiness is surely a state of mind…we all are dependent on some or the other condition to be happy…having our own house ,a BMW racing on the road,having kids…while we all know “waqt se pehle aur kismat se zyada kisi ko kuch nahi milta” .We just ignore whatever we have and always wish to achieve what we don’t have.This is the reason of our unhappiness.We are not satisfied and contented with our present situation.When we start measuring others happiness or unhappiness we put ourselves into grief wasting our time and energy…

    Me: Right. Ignore what we have… sad but sometimes true. Count your blessings is the keyword na?

  17. Hey,
    I read your posts at times. This one, I had to comment. I am not on any of the networking sites and I hate it. People have their own reasons for being on it. Many of my friends actually feel guilty and say that when they are out on a vacation, they are consciously taking pictures for Orkut and Facebook(our fellow Indians I mean). They say, they HAVE TO go buy new clothes before the trip so there would not be repetition in the pics :)..So coming to your question, I am happy with my life. I always count my blessings and always dread what God will give me to understand what a failure means. (I have never faced failure. Touch wood). But that said, some people who show off their property or jewels etc actually project their insecurity. That is what I hate in Indian weddings, where people just wear all the jewels they have. But things like these photos in the new house, vacations etc, I would just consider them as sharing their happy moments. Buying a house is an achievement. Vacationing with kids – consider those as a family time. People buying houses and BMWs here because the interest rates are at an all time low in the housing and the auto market. Us Indians will definitely make use of this to realize the American dream of owning a house.. You will also one day.

    Me: Thanks for commenting Subha. What do I say except, please do it more often! πŸ™‚ I am trying to consciously avoid the ‘click pictures to show others’ phenomenon these days!!!

  18. Hello JnM,
    I would a very honest and thought worthy post. I too feel what is that is compelling people to write such mundane/showoff status message. But then i think ya may be they would like to say it out and may be i do not like to show it off and convince my self.

    Me: Yeah, to each his own! πŸ™‚

    But the question still remains about happiness. I love posting snaps and actually like to read others comments and I do comment on my friend’s snaps too. Sometimes it is not insecurity, i think it is competition. We are so so in the notion of coming ahead in the race of life and we just get materialistic. i guess it is all momentary.

    Me: Isn’t competition another face of insecurity Sumana? Why would I want to compete with someone if I was sure about myself?

  19. Nice one J&M,
    I totally agree with what Subha said above …
    In the US buying houses and fancy cars is affordable if we r DINK with decent jobs …
    and posting pictures on sites like orkut – if u do it genuinely to share with ur family and frnds it is fine – but if u do just coz someone else did that or to show off – i guess then they r ones who r desperate to get the acceptance from thier frnds that they r happy …

    and there is a saying which goes like – i worried i had no shoes until i saw someone with no legs..

    i am frnds with this wonderful girl – who comes from a very rich family,is very beautiful, has travelled all over the world and u think wow she has got it all .. last year she was diagnosed with a serious illness (curable though) and only recently she confided in me that she is a young widow .. i was schocked .. from the outside she looked like she had it all .. born with a golden spoon and all that …but it is only when u r close with someone u know the real story …

    Me: 😦 You are so right, such stories keep us grounded…

    i always think – if u and ur immediate family is healthy and u have enought money for ur needs ( not wants) u r gifted and one should be happy …

    these days we come across so many websites created to help cancer patients either for money or to help with bone marrow – the pictures of young couple ( thats what makes me most sad coz u see t familiarity with thier “before life”) struggling – not knowing what is in store for them …makes me think – they were exactly like us – and one fine day everything fell apart – it can be u or me today or tomorrow –

    we r frnds with a couple who own a 4000 sq feet home, 2 fancy cars and take 3-4 foreign vacations an year .. ppl might think they r the happiest …but u talk to them for sometime u realise even now they keep comparing themselves with others and they don’t feel happiness in others success stories and the husband keeps talking about mid life crisis or how boring the life is …

    Me: Poor dears!!! I hope they realize their mistake one day!

  20. That’s a thought-provoking post. The point is that it’s ok to be momentarily sad or jealous seeing other people’s happiness. But one always needs to keep in mind that no one has a perfect life, even thoise who post picture-perfect pics of themselves and their lives. In their own little ways, they are also as flawed and imperfect as us and our lives πŸ™‚

    Me: Oh my God! You summarized my entire post AND answered it in a few lines Mystic!!! πŸ˜€

  21. There’s a lot of overlapping of private and public lives, thanks to social networking sites like FB that make it so easy for you to make public, things that you can easily keep private.

    As for how happy I am, quite, I’d say. I read somewhere that we’re as happy as we make up our minds to be. I have made up my mind and it helps!

    Me: That’s a wonderful thought D!

  22. Healthy competition is definitely necessary and not insecurity. I think without which there would have been no inventions at all. I feel in a scenario where our mind questions our happiness, we need to convince it to think in a better/different positive way. Like Anamika says, the person with no shoes and person with no legs at all. And for me this situation mostly comes to surface in case when my mood is low kind off. This is getting interesting.

    Me: Oh sure, I wasn’t talking of that sort of competition. The healthy one is definitely needed, I agree!

  23. what an honest post! *appplauuse*

    Me: πŸ˜€

    was fantastic reading everyone’s comments. ima scorpio. jealousy is supposed to be my first nature. perhaps it is but im not jealous of cars or mansions … im jealous when someone can run for a longer time than me and that would be majority of people i know. :} oh i am truly jealous then, yes.

    like solil said, diff things make diff ppl happy …. similarly, i guess diff things make diff ppl jealous too, eh? :))

    Me: Sure! And as Sumana pointed out, that sort of jealousy may be more like ‘healthy competition’? In which case it’s good nahi? As long as it doesn’t make you miserable about your 10 miles or something? πŸ˜‰

  24. oh u arent the only one feeling this way… i remember reading a similar sentiment on someone else’s blog a few days back.. i must begin remembering blog urls.. wud hv sent u the link if i wud have cared to memorise!!

    anyway,i am generally happy but i have my phases..when i see such idiots do well at work , i look at myself and wonder”wats wrong with me??how come i am never in the lime light..never appreciated or promoted?” then i crib n cry a bit and im back to being happy…no point in being upset over this for long,rt? cant change much, so may as well be happy with wat i have…its not easy but wat else can u do?

    Me: Oh yes, happened with me at work too. Folks who whiled away the day and stayed late to finish work were thought to be very ‘dedicated’ and given awards!!! πŸ˜€ No one looks at a person who works efficiently through the day and leaves as 6! But it passes soon. I don’t brood about work much.

    and eventually it is the simple things of life that give lasting pleasure…material happiness is quite ephemiral(somethings wrong with that spelling!!)

    Me: ephemeral? πŸ™‚ And you are so right!!!

    and honestly,im getting a bit bugged with facebook… i know stuff about people i dont even want to know!! knowing too much about ppl is not a good thing, i tell u!! it makes u wonder why ur life is the way it is…and why theirs seems (pl note -key word seems) better than ur’s!

    Me: Seems the word!!!

  25. Can I come back and say, I am pissed off at my dh who refuses to spend $$ on trip to San deigo and my friend went to Hawaii, Paris,Holland and another one Turk and Cacos.

    There, breath in and breathe out

    Me: There, there! Deep breaths please!!! πŸ˜€

  26. hey devaki…

    i feel theres a pattern to flamboyance, people generally have.

    people who have otherwise boring lives tend to highlight the “once in a while’s ” a bit too much. people who know they blend in the background tend to highlight everything about themselves a bit too much.

    Me: Hmmm… that’s an interesting thought. Let me see if it works… πŸ™‚

    if at all theres anything to compare(its a natural feeling) dont count everyone’s events. count how much and at what intervals each one has been putting up such news.

    theres a time for everything in life. and often its our choice. like in my case, intitially we travlled a lot and always had friends over, when we moved into a new house, the second enthusiasm was more matured and thoughful over romantic and creative. now in pregnancy there are lot of social dos, eat outs which we have to avoid.. there are other friends who have not got into this or have got into other things and thats how all our lives are unique..

    Me: You are pregnant Dhanu? Wow! My congratulations! And yes, what you say is true…

    by the way good going on the writing thingie.. i like ur style.. looks like u’ve made an india trip recently.. last blog detail madhe vaachin mag.. bye for now,

    Me: Yeah, in Feb. Planning another one in Dec. Would love to meet you this time… what say?

  27. Of course I feel envious of others. I wouldn’t be human otherwise. I think the degree though has changed over the years. At some point I realized that what I think is worth envying, others think are pointless. Likewise, there are people out there who are envious of me when I think my life is pathetic (not really, but you know what i mean.) To give you an example, a couple we know recently got a chance to move to an exotic destination for a work assignment. This was a big promotion for the husband and they decided to take the expat assignment, which meant that the wife had to quit her job. In my tired, over-worked eyes, this was a perfect arrangement for her i.e. she gets to live in an international hot spot, doesn’t have to work, can travel to many fab locations and gets to essentially take a break for 2 years.

    Me: Sounds great to me too!!!

    On the face of it, she looked and sounded very happy and we saw many pictures on FB of their exciting adventures. But during a later conversation she revealed that she regretted quitting her job (she is highly qualified in her field and worked very, very hard to get there) and that her husband is now so busy that he doesn’t get any time at home with her and the kids. They hardly see him on weekdays, and he runs off to play golf on the weekends.

    Me: 😦

    Basically what i am trying to say with this overly long comment is that don’t be fooled by pictures and words. It’s best not to compare our lives with those of our friends because we will find things to be unhappy about. At the same time, remember that there are things about your life that people think are worth envying. I always take pleasure in thinking about that instead. πŸ™‚

    Me: Sure! I do that all the time too… the only way to make me feel better after facebook! πŸ™‚

  28. None of us are happy. I bet not even the one possessing that BMW or else why would we be gorging up more and more? Barring what the saints have got to say, in our gross real life experience, I feel pure joy only when I piss, because that’s the only time I stay in the present. πŸ˜‰

    Me: Nahiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!! LOL… that was SOME comment! πŸ˜€

  29. Pingback: Trying to Answer Devaki… « Dreaming in Suburbia

  30. Commenting for the first time on your blog Devaki. This is such an awesome post! so much food for thought. πŸ™‚ I too go through this “what have i been doing with myself” phase when i see friends getting promoted, buying huge cars and bungalows. But then its only momentary( thank god for that!!). By they time i get back home and start playing with my little one, all these thoughts blur into nothing! Thanks again for such a wonderful post.

    Me: Thank you Suni. Good to see you here. πŸ™‚

  31. hey you know what….

    i think of it in 2 ways…..
    (a)I read it some where that it is the hollowness and low self esteem that drives most of them to buy extravagant things and in an attempt to derive happiness from it…..and of course you really cant trust those portrait perfect pictures… reminds me of that song(tum itna jo muskura rahe ho (from the movie Arth) πŸ˜‰ ) ….

    (b) Or they truly believe in the gud old saying (“Khushi baatne se badthi hai”)

    Me: Let’s hope it’s b! πŸ™‚

  32. over all what i feel n believe in is “Life is tooo… short to take it seriously”
    every one has there with their own purpose and cause in this world….

    so y stress on what others are doing and showing……we are here to just enjoy and experience this journey called LIFE……

    Me: Couldn’t put it better!

  33. J&M,
    Chanced on your blog via IHM’s blog. Why does it feel that you are writing my story:-))) LOL:-))
    But you know what I’ve stopped reacting to these things and sometimes, only sometimes, I too am a culprit but mostly out of getting back – which is not good is it:-) Yeah I like to be the devil at times….
    Nice blog btw and it’s up on my blogroll:-)

    Me: Hey, welcome here Minal! Thanks for linking me up. Your story is similar? Tell, tell! πŸ™‚

  34. I prefer contentment over happiness. Personally happiness all the time points to some underlying neurosis…really.

    Me: Hmmm… contentment… interesting thought!

  35. Hi!
    Fb & orkut is hit, bcoz they are zero effort ways to indulge in narcissim….
    How ever I still belive in letters..
    So thats how old school I’m!
    Wishing you joy the old fashioned good way!!!

    Me: I love letters too. But haven’t written one in ages… the last ones were to the husband a while before marriage! πŸ™‚

  36. I sometimes wonder, if folks with these “Happy pics” are really happy??? Or its just a happy-looking pose for Orkut/FB? My this and my that…is it the absolute truth?? Is everyone really content with their job?? Is everyone really married to the right person?? Is every couple really not planning for children?? Does everyone ELSE, REALLY have a perfect life??? πŸ™‚

    Me: πŸ™‚ You spoke my mind! You are right… some of it’s just a happy front perhaps. Aren’t we all guilty of that at times?

  37. I do not take part in any social networking sites as they don’t make any sense to me. I talk to my friends via email and phone and did not find a need for facebook or orkut. But ur words are 100% true. For me it is not the house and the car. We have been trying for a baby for nearly 2 years now. But no luck till now. When all the friends of our age are getting pregnant or giving birth, that feeling..the same exact feeling of wht u have explained, comes. House or BMW..they are luxuries and up to us. But a baby..i am trying to avoid this thought and jealousy, but i could not.

    Me: I understand… hope you get the baby of your dreams very very soon.

  38. I think everyone one of us go thru that experience at least once in a lifetime…the being momentarily jealous phase. Like Mystic, I think it is ok to feel that way. I personally feel for many it acts as a propeller…to push them to push themselves forward in their lives. More than anything, I also feel that instead of jealousy, it arouses in us feelings of ineptitude…makes one think…OMG what is that the other person is doing that I am not doing? Did I while away my time, when they were doing something better?

    Me: You are absolutely right!!! That’s the exact feeling I guess…

    Happiness is totally a relative term to me..I can be happy with a $25-50 bag that will fulfill my needs, whereas my sis needs that branded, absymally priced bag to make her happy. Whatever it takes, right?

    AS for the status updates on FB and other social networking sites, I guess it is exactly that…status updates. I think it is just like putting up a happy, beautiful front. Or maybe it was a random incident?? Just sharing the happy news in their lives? I mean, it is not like everyone goes thru life changing promotions, home buyings and such everyday right? What I am saying I guess is that there are 2 sides to a coin, so there must be many sides to life too! Cheer up and do what needs to be done to make you happy!

  39. I think the people who post updates and depict this perfect life are truly unhappy(I personally know a few) I have a friend who always posts updates like my husband his the best I love him what would I do with out you and so on…. well they are not the such romantic couple. they continuously fight always at it of course they don’t share that with the world instead they choose to make up this fairy tale life they live.

    Me: That’s so sad… 😦

    Have you ever wondered maybe the cars, houses etc. isn’t really theirs its all made up to show the world that they have succeed when in reality they still ask their parent’s for financial help are completely in debt due to their fancy cars and homes and inside they feel miserable .

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